The endless struggle between my father and I continues on unabated. I must say, there's nothing worse than being financially harnessed to a family member. All those people running from student loan officers and debt collectors have it comparably easy in this case. I'm not saying having debt is a good thing, obviously, but at least you know what the terms are. You have options, to an extent. Not me though - I can't shake my albatross, try as I might.
Nova and I will be living together come July and I couldn't be happier. Even setting aside all of her benefits and how amazing it would be, it's going to feel so good just to get out from under my parents overbearing shadow. I find it hilariously contentious that my whole life they've been working to give me "options"; obviously certain options were supposed to be off limits. The current point of contention lies with my roommates - originally I was going to pay for the apartment over the summer because I'd have intentions to live in it again come September. They make the point that the commitment to paying for it still exists (and in a sense they're right, despite it being an unwanted burden). The problem is my father, with whom I struck a deal to pay for the apartment as part of a company benefits package (in exchange for other benefits I never use anyways) is now trying to reneg on the deal, citing the "changed situation". Even that isn't so infuriating as the underlying hipocrisy because he still goes out of his way to claim that he's trying to help me, despite flagrant amounts of empirical evidence to the contrary.
I realize my decision has financial consequences and reprecussions, some beyond my current means. For a normal person in these circumstances, a bank loan (or a school loan, in the form of OSAP for us Ontarians) is the usual road taken. My father, in his claim to want to keep me debt free (noble, in one sense) is attempting to restrict my means of getting such a loan. So that even further cripples my power in the situation because not only am I stuck with an albatross around my neck, he's insisting that it be HIS albatross. And quite frankly I'd much rather deal with one year of student loans and pay it back over my first few seasons working than tolerate any more of this BS.
In my next years budget that they demanded I show them, my parents were shocked to see that I left no financial allotment for train tickets home to see them. And they wonder why.... *shakes head*
On the lighter side of life, things with Nova and I are going quite well given the circumstances. This is obviously a stressful period of transition and it often leaves me on edge (much to her detriment, sadly) but we're getting through it. The 106 day countdown to the completion of this bold venture draws ever nearer and its advent gives us hope. Desite the best efforts of my parents and my roommates I have no absence of faith in my abilities to finish what I've set out to do. I will no longer allow outside sources to interfere with my own desires and free will.
Take this somewhat intense post however you will - other than Nova, I don't know who else may still be reading this (nor do I particularly care at this point, no offense to any potential readers). I'll update when I can.
PS - NIS strategy games are hilariously addictive. If you see Disgaea: Hour of Darkness, Phantom Brave or Makai Kingdom and you have some spare time and funds, pick one up. It's a great way to relieve stress, let me tell you.
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